


Only If You Bring Your Dog

by ambercreek95



Category: South Park
Genre: Dogs, First Dates, How Do I Tag, I Don't Even Know, M/M, Meet-Cute, Short & Sweet, Tinder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-18 15:48:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29736186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ambercreek95/pseuds/ambercreek95
Summary: Stan is a serial swipe-lefter, until Kenny, 23, 18 miles away.
Relationships: Stan Marsh/Kenny McCormick
Comments: 12
Kudos: 27





	Only If You Bring Your Dog

**Author's Note:**

> This was so quick and silly and probably not very good but I saw a prompt saying “I’ll go on a date with you, if you bring the dog in your profile picture” and it just gave me immediate stenny vibes so I had to write it.
> 
> Also, I wrote this in half an hour on my phone and haven’t even proof read it so sorry in advance for all the typos haha.

Stan didn’t know why he got tinder in the first place. Kyle had urged him to, saying it would be good to  _ put himself back out there _ after his break up from Gary. 

But it seemed like all anyone on this app wanted was a quick hook up, which just wasn’t Stan’s style. He was a hopeless romantic at heart; always had been and always would be.

It was Sunday afternoon, and he was scrolling through the list of suitors within a 50 mile radius, swiping left on anyone who had their shirt off in their picture, so most of them. 

His thumb was moving on autopilot when he came across someone who made him pause in his motions.

His main picture was obviously cropped from another, the edge of another mans face being cut off on the left side. The guy in question had sandy blonde hair, a wide gap toothed smile and freckles dotted like stars across his tanned face. 

Stan was a sucker for blondes.

He clicked on his pictures, scrolling through. 

The second picture was him with his arm wrapped around a young girl, smiling proudly at her while she held up a second place ribbon for a middle school science fair. 

His third picture showed him with another blonde guy, sitting at a cafe table with foamy, cappuccino milk moustache’s coating the tops of their smiling lips. It was obvious that they were laughing when the picture was taken, eyes squinting and joyful. 

The fourth and last picture was him soaking wet in a singlet, holding a furry friend (a dog probably) wrapped up in a towel. Stan admired the way his exposed biceps bulged in the picture, water droplets glistening in the sunlight. 

Stan liked the fact that he was smiling in all of his pictures.

_ AND he likes animals?  _ Stan thought.  _ I’m sold. _

Stan swiped right on Kenny, 23, 18 miles away.

**IT’S A MATCH**

**You and Kenny have liked each other!**

**You can now send him a message**

Stan suddenly feels nervous as he pressed ‘continue’. 

_ What do I write? Just ‘Hey’? That’s so basic. I should say something charming and witty. Or will he think that is pretentious? Or corny? GOD WHY IS THIS SO HARD?! _

Just as Stan started to spiral, his phone dinged.

Kenny: how ya doin handsome?

_ Well, that solves that then. _

Stan: Hey. Not bad, how are you?

Kenny: pretty chill.

Kenny: wanna hang out?

Stan sighed. Of course it’s just another fuck boy looking for sex. No one ever wants to go on a date, or if they do, they just do it as an obligation to get to the sex part. 

Stan: I don’t really do that. Sorry.

Kenny: ??

Kenny: hang out with people that find you attractive?

Stan blushed at the admission that Kenny found him attractive, but he still wasn’t swayed.

Stan: I don’t do random hookups or one night stands.

Kenny: good for you dude

Kenny: but I srsly was just asking if you wanna hang out

Kenny: like a date or whatever

Stan felt sick to his stomach. He just assumed that Kenny meant sex. He completely humiliated himself and insulted this hot guy in the process. 

Stan: shit, sorry man. that was a kind of douchey move on my behalf.

Kenny: its okay. Tinder can be like that sometimes. Im convinced ive got PTSD from some of my encounters. 

Stan: haha yeah, same.

Stan: but yeah, I’m free. Do you still want to hang out?

Stan held his breath while those little dots on the speech bubble flashed. 

Kenny: nah

His stomach fell through his feet. Trust Stan to blow the only semi decent encounter he’s had in months.

Kenny: just kidding!

Kenny: yeah man, im keen. What do you want to do?

Stan’s eyes landed on the sleeping bundle of fur at the other end of the couch.

Stan: well, I have to walk my dog. Wanna meet me at Hamilton Park in half an hour?

Kenny: fuck yeah, I love dogs. 

Kenny: I’ll meet you there by the fountain?

Kenny: I’ll be the the ridiculously good looking one ;)

Kenny: in an orange parka 

Stan laughed out loud, dragging himself off the couch. He had to put something on that was a bit more date worthy than the old, ratty Tegridy Farms shirt that he’s had since he was a teenager. 

Stan: I have one condition though

Stan: can you bring that dog from your profile picture?

Stan had changed his clothes and was pulling a beanie on over his hair when he heard his phone ding. 

Kenny: sure man

Kenny: but that ain’t no dog

Kenny: that’s my possum

Kenny: <image attached>

The photo was of a scrappy looking possum wearing a party hat. It had a chunk missing out of its right ear and frosting on its face from the cupcake that was also in the picture. 

Stan paused. 

Kenny was a weird guy.

Stan: he’s cute!

Kenny: thanks. I think you’re cute.

Kenny. If you play your cards right, I’ll let you pat him

Kenny: be careful though, he bites

Kenny: unless you like that kind of thing ;)

Stan decided he liked weird.

Stan: if you play your cards right, you might find out ;)

“Come on Sparky!” Stan called, grabbing his keys and the dog leash from the hook by the door. He opened up his door, phone glued to his hand and eyes glued to his phone while he waited for those three dots to disappear and be replaced by a text bubble.   
  


Kenny: Oh, I plan to.   
Kenny: Im an expert at cards  
Kenny: are you ready to be swept off your feet, Stanley?

  
Stan grinned to himself.

_Maybe tinder wasn’t such a bad idea after all._


End file.
